What I've Been Watching (May 2011)

Here's what I've been watching in May!

 

SPOILERS AHEAD

The Human Centipede – First Sequence (2009)

The Human Centipede - First Sequence is a movie that has penetrated mainstream pop culture in a way not many movies can. It's a movie you have to see and talk about with friends, simply because the premise is as equally insane as it is disgusting. After seeing South Park parody it in a recent episode, I convinced myself to sit down and watch it, not quite sure what I was letting myself in for. It's like watching a car crash or picking a scab, you know that it may not be good for you but you do it anyway. Well, a car crash The Human Centipede definitely is. The idea and execution of connecting three people together through their digestive systems (that's right, ass to mouth) is pretty sick and obviously comes from the mind of somebody with either too much time on their hands or a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but everything surrounding it (the plot, the dialogue, the acting, etc) is absolutely crap. It clearly has a low budget but there just didn't seem to be much effort. It was almost as if the film thought it could survive on the concept alone. I can't help but think that the idea of forcing shit down somebody's throat in the name of entertainment is deeply ironic here, considering what the final outcome of The Human Centipede was. 4.5 / 10.

Dinner For Schmucks (2010)

I stayed well away from Dinner For Schmucks after hearing it was nothing short of awful and should be avoided at all costs, but there was a part of me (the part that loves Paul Rudd and likes Steve Carrell in a few movies) that told me that I should ignore the vast majority of critics and give it a watch. So I did, and guess what? I really liked it. I'm not joking or even trying to draw you into a false sense of security before picking it apart in front of your eyes. I LIKED it. Not loved, but liked. It had everything that makes a Paul Rudd movie enjoyable. The combination of awkward chemistry between the two male leads, an eventual and heart- warming bro-mance and most importantly, decent funny moments. I laughed out loud several times, which for me is a plus. Paul Rudd is a businessman who is invited to an annual dinner held by the chairman of his company, where each member of the board must bring along a 'shmuck' to the festivities for everybody to mock. Steve Carrell is that shmuck, a socially inept taxidermist with no real friends and a warped sense of reality. I won't go into much more, but I will say that the humour is stupid and sometimes slapstick, but that doesn't fail the movie in any way. The laughs come at the expense of Carrell's idiocy most of the time, but there's a welcome introduction of Zack Galifianakis (not the first time I will see him in a movie this month) as a supposed mind-control expert and love rival to Carrell's character. You can't really lose with Dinner For Schmucks if you go in with low expectations, which could be why I liked it. You could be watching a lot, lot worse (see above). 7 / 10.

Ultimate Avengers (2006)

After thoroughly enjoying Thor and my excitement for next year's The Avengers being increased tenfold after the bonus scene at the end of the story of the Norse God, I had a look at my Marvel section of my DVD collection (most notably the Marvel Studios animated movies of recent years) and re-watched Ultimate Avengers, a tale taken straight from the pages of the Avengers comics and a possible direction for the live-action version of the hero team-up to take. The animated movie crams a lot into its short running time, including a brief origin story of Captain America in the 1940s and the present day collaboration of various superheroes (Iron Man, Thor, Giant Man, Wasp, Black Widow) with Nick Fury's S.H.I.E.L.D to take on an intergalactic threat. It's always fun to see these characters come to life, and the final battle featuring an out of control Hulk versus the rest of The Avengers is well executed. Everything does feel a little rushed and some of the characters have traits that you wouldn't expect if you've read the comics, which makes the whole affair seem slightly disjointed and removed from the Marvel fantasy. Just a 6 / 10.

Iron Maiden – Flight 666 (2009)

Iron Maiden - Flight 666 had been sitting in my Lovefilm Blu-Ray list for almost a year and it was finally selected for me to watch this month, arriving in the post and getting put onto the TV the very same morning. The tour documentary follows the legendary metal band flying around the world in an enormous Iron Maiden emblazoned plane (which is remarkably piloted by the band's singer Bruce Dickinson), playing stadiums in some of furthest corners of the Earth, from India to Australia to South America and everywhere in between. It's a fun ride, not focusing on anything melodramatic, but simply celebrating the band, their fans and their music. It's interesting to see that the members of the band are still enjoying their time on the road after so many years and this monumental tour proves that they can still bring in the punters, as each stadium they play sells out long before they touch down in the respective country. A true celebration of Iron Maiden, 7 / 10.

Donnie Brasco (1997)

This true story follows Johnny Depp as an undercover FBI agent infiltrating the New York mob who gets in too deep with Al Pacino’s wiseguy as his real life begins to unravel due to his dedication to the cause. It’s a solid gangster flick with a standard convincing performance by Depp, but if falls short of being great due to the lack of both action and interesting situations. That said, it’s still an enjoyable movie due to a decent script and the competent leading men, plus just enough violence to make it a talking point. If it had a bit more flair then it could be a truly great movie, but unfortunately it doesn’t. 6 / 10.

Blade (1998)

I seriously forgot how good a film Blade really is. Perhaps it's because it got a little lost in my head after seeing the two sequels, which I am going to also talk about in my first trilogy review, I don't really know. But after revisiting the Marvel character in his cinema debut, the story of the half-man/half-vampire's life as a hunter of the vampire race, I realised that it's a movie that is overall quite underrated. Wesley Snipes is menacing and dry as the title character, Kris Kristofferson delivers a solid performance as Blade's bad-ass mentor, Whistler, and even the villain of the piece, Deacon, a vampire hell-bent on unleashing the vampire curse on the world (played by Stephen Dorff), is a character with enough of a threat to Blade anti-hero to make this movie immensely enjoyable. This is what a vampire movie should be. Over-the-top, camp and completely blood soaked. We don't want vampire films grounded in reality or presented in the mould of a chick-flick. We want gore! And that's exactly what Blade dishes up by the bucket load. Overall, it's a solid action movie with a storyline that keeps it rolling along without once feeling stagnant. Movies have borrowed from it ever since its release and that's what makes it a classic. It's for that reason that it's getting my MOVIE OF THE MONTH award with an 8 / 10.

Blade II (2002)

I was happy to see Blade return in the Guillermo del Toro directed Blade II, but to have the character team up with the vampires he was battling in the original to take down a new threat in monstrous species The Reapers made it hard for me to commit to the vampire hunter's cause. Whistler's death in the original was quickly backtracked so that he could appear in this sequel, which I found to be both confusing and unlikely. It just feels like a watered-down version of the original, despite the continued gore and imaginative kills for Blade to indulge in. The twists and turns of the plot seemed forced and sometimes like they had been made up on the spot as filming was happening. Not a worthy follow up to such a fantastic original, so only gets a 5 / 10.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

Blade Trinity is the unavoidable third outing for a character that became so iconic in Blade, but was dragged through the mud of bad sequels with Blade II. But mistakes will be learnt from and rectified, right? Wrong. Two more characters (played by Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds) are introduced as support for Blade's return to vampire hunting ways, this time with Dracula himself rising to do his best to bring about the end of the world. But again, it feels rushed and never gets to a point where you're as excited as the original makes you. It's the sequel/trilogy curse, dodged by few, but kicked hard in the mid-section by many, and this is a brilliant example. Reynolds provides the comedy, but even that is bland and unfunny, as if the character is holding a large sign that reads 'Hello, I'm the Comedic Relief!' It's just boring, and that's all it boils down to. Not sure which is worse, however, this or Blade II. Another 5 / 10.

 Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)

I had been told by many that Dead Man's Shoes is one of the best revenge flicks out there, and seeing at its directed by Shane Meadows and stars Paddy Considine, two men whose work I respect, I pulled my finger out and finally got around to see what all the fuss was about for myself. It's dark and unrelenting, certainly a great example of British filmmaking by one of the most talented writers/directors out there. But as a straight up revenge film, which is what it is billed as and has generated a reputation for, it's not as intense as I expected it to be. The anger driving Considine's character forward to justified, but the way he goes about killing a gang of former friends who tormented his mentally disabled brother while he was away on a tour of duty with the armed forces, just doesn't quite hit the mark. There's a twist at the end which can be seen from a mile away, and an altogether unsatisfying ending. The cinematography is top-notch and the script is excellent, but the plot and execution of the film as a whole is far from superb. Just a 6 / 10.

 Drive Angry (2011)

As soon as it seems Nicholas Cage is getting his act together (the recent Bad Lieutenant and Kick-Ass turns were fantastic) her serves up another stinker, this time alongside Amber Heard in Drive Angry, a movie that has a miniscule amount of angry driving and a lot of terrible acting. It's not a movie that takes itself very seriously, and for that I commend it, but for everything a modern B-movie hit like Hobo With A Shotgun is, Drive Angry isn't. I am amazed that Cage's hair can look so different in each film he is in. Is that part of his contract? Maybe soon he'll appear in something with corn-rows or a bleach-blonde Mohawk. There aren't many talking points here, just a movie that I was bored with from the word go and constantly running-time checking before I got to the end. 4.5 / 10.

 Due Date (2010)

In preparation for Todd Phillips' The Hangover: Part II at the end of the month, I watched his most recent directorial outing Due Date for the second time since its release in cinemas late last year. I had fun watching it the first time around and remember laughing a fair few times, so chose this to reacquaint myself with both the humour of Phillips and another monumental turn from Zack Galifianakis. Robert Downey Jar plays an uptight father to be who is forced to drive across the US with wannabe-actor Nathan Tremblay (Galifianakis) to get back home before his wife gives birth. Galifianakis revels in yet another 'idiot' role, and the similarities to The Hangover's Alan are clear as it's a character in a very similar mould. This movie doesn't feel like it's trying to bask in the glory of such a hit as The Hangover, it does well all on its own and there are jaw-dropping moments aplenty as well as some genuinely funny one-liners. It's also another comedy to add to Robert Downey Jr’s resume, which proves he's one of the most reliable leading men in Hollywood today. Good times, 7 / 10.

 Scream (1996)

I thought I'd give another trilogy a bash for these reviews and with the recent release of Scream 4 I decided to start at the beginning and revisit Wes Craven's slasher phenomenon, Scream. I remember seeing this movie as a kid and thinking it was the best thing since sliced bread, feeling like a grown-up as I pretended not to be quivering with fear at the sight of the Ghostface killer plunging a knife into a female victim's chest. It's release in 1996 meant I was 10 years-old when I first saw this, so this was my first venture into the slasher movie genre as I was either too young or not yet a twinkle in my father's eye when films like Halloween, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street were released. But now that I am fully versed in those franchises, I know that Scream is not in the same league as them for genuine scares. Sure, it pays homage to the 'rules' that those movies create, but in turn Scream should rip up the rule book and create something for itself. Scream is barely a slasher movie, just a murder mystery with some jumpy moments and some toned down gore. It's the 'whodunnit' element that's the most interesting, which means that if you've seen this movie countless times you'll just end up a bit bored. Leading lady Neve Campbell is bland, as are the other actors surrounding her (save for Jamie Kennedy as Randy), which is more damning for a movie like this than you'd expect. It's only the nostalgia that saves this for me, but it's still just a 6 / 10.

Scream 2 (1997)

Unfortunately for this trilogy, as it if for most, it's all downhill after the first, and when you start as low down as Scream, whatever follows cannot be good. Scream 2 is lazy, aiming just below the original as if it's been told not to surpass it. Whenever it seems like things could get exciting, it reins itself back in and falls back down into mediocrity. Motives rely too heavily on the fact that certain people are capable of mass murder (it's the best form of revenge, of course) and the rules of slasher movies (significantly sequels in this, a sequel) are displayed in neon lights for us to read as if we're eight year-olds. We're not along for the ride of Scream 2; we're just being pushed along at a snail's pace being more distracted by everything around us that the paper-thin plot of this movie. Neve Campbell. for the love of God, let the Ghostface killer finish you off! You'll be better off out of this franchise and maybe then somebody with a shred of personality could hold a candle to Jamie-Lee Curtis. I'm not even going to detail the plot of this movie; I can't be bothered to waste my time. Remember Billy, the killer from the original? Yeah, the killer this time around is his Mum (with the help of Timothy Olyphant, who looks older here than he does now). Watch the first and try to forget that it has a sequel, because this isn't and never will be your favourite scary movie. 5 / 10.

Scream 3 (2000)

Do I have to watch the third? Really? I suppose I do, I've committed to this trilogy review and I have to finish it. I'll try, wish me luck. I remember very little about the third instalment of the Scream trilogy, except the fact that most of the killings take place on a set for a movie based on the killings of the first film. Got that? There's a movie within this movie based on a movie that preceded this movie. Sounds like Christopher Nolan did get the idea of Inception from somewhere, after all. Anyway, this movie is shit. I was bored before I watched it because I knew I had to watch it, bored halfway through when I realised Neve Campbell was going to survive again and bored at the end when the killer was revealed to be somebody I barely noticed throughout the movie (if you think that's the point, then so be it, but I was hoping for somebody else). Scream 3 has a lot of problems. It struggles to go through the motions it has paid homage to throughout the franchise and falls flat at the end with an 'amazing revelation.' I can't bring myself to watch Scream 4 this month; I just don't have it in me. I will keep my fingers crossed for Neve Campbell's demise and perhaps watch next month. Scream 3 is my SHIT MOVIE OF THE MONTH with a beautiful 4 / 10.

The Hangover: Part II (2011)

I was pretty excited for The Hangover: Part II after seeing the trailer online, mainly due to the fact that I was a fan of the original and can't seem to get enough of Zack Galifianakis right now. The first movie was a lot of fun, and although I wouldn't say it's up there in my top comedies of all time, it was a fresh take on a premise that has been done (mostly poorly) over and over again in comedic cinema (I'm looking at you Dude, Where's My Car?). Unfortunately for director Todd Phillips, I'd say that the studio had a major say in ticking the boxes that made the original so popular for this sequel. I hope it's that, or it would appear that Phillips was majorly uninspired when it came down to making a movie that could have a go at besting the first. This time, the gang are in Thailand getting ready for Stu's (Ed Helms) wedding, and this time they all agree to have a quiet beer on the beach to avoid the chaos of the Vegas bachelor party. But of course, things never go smoothly when oddball Alan (Zack Galifianakis) is around. Cue a sped-up shot of Bangkok night fading into day, and soon Phil (Bradley Cooper) is waking up in a strange room after what is obviously an eventful night. Alan falls from a bunk with his head shaved, Stu wakes in a bathtub with his face tattooed and it would appear that one of their party (Stu's wife-to-be Lauren's little brother Teddy) is missing. And the hilarity ensues from there (yawn)! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed The Hangover: Part II for what it was and did laugh along regularly. I just feel a little hard done by for what the movie ended up being. It was a carbon copy of the first, replacing certain elements with new ones to give it new packaging. It's Bangkok instead of Vegas, Teddy is missing instead of Doug (the unfortunate groom from the first movie), a monkey is involved instead of a tiger, Stu has sex with a transsexual hooker instead of a female one, Stu's face is tattooed instead of his tooth being missing, etc, etc. There could be a list of many more if I went in with a notebook and pen, but I'm not that pretentious. It's just a bit lazy, taking the easy route to appeal to the die-hard fans but not thinking hard about winning over any new ones. And holy shit, why change Alan so much? In the first he's inappropriate, illogical, childish and idiotic. For some reason he's been given an over-the-top nasty makeover, making him all of what he was in the first but now with a cruel streak that makes him just a little bit more difficult to love. That could be the biggest mistake for The Hangover: Part II, which is a decent movie but in comparison to its predecessor, a failure. There will probably be a third, and I'd probably pay money to see it, but honestly, I can't see this getting great reviews and urging fans to call for a third instalment. Disappointing, 6.5 / 10.

Megamind (2010)

I realised recently that I missed a lot of the big animated movies of last year, so decided to give a few of them a bash. I've rented How To Train Your Dragon and Despicable Me, but I'm saving them for now, so I started with the Will Ferrell voiced Megamind, a movie through the eyes of a supervillain telling of his life from birth up to his adult years, focusing on his rivalry with Metro Man, a superhero voiced by Brad Pitt. It's a decent concept, one that could be similar to Despicable Me, although I'm not in the position to judge just yet. The twist here is that the mostly inept Megamind gets one over on Metro Man and kills him early on in the movie, leaving him lost and confused about what it means to be a supervillain. I enjoyed Megamind and, as a fan of all things superhero, think that the original characters in the film are great. It's funny, for both kids and adults, which is what mainstream animation seems to have to be regardless these days. I'm not sure how it would hold up after multiple watches, but I definitely would recommend it if you're fed up of your kids watching Toy Story 3 over and over again. 6.5 / 10.

 Hall Pass (2011)

The latest Farrelly Brothers comedy is one I decided to give a miss in cinemas, mainly because nothing from the trailers gave me a chuckle or even a smile. Unfortunately for Hall Pass, the same can be said for the rest of the movie, which stars Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis as a pair of sexually charged men who are given one week off of marriage by their wives to get all of their supposed desires out of their systems. Quite obviously, not everything goes to plan and the inevitable conclusion is that the witless leading men had all that they wanted at home and never really wanted to stray. It's the kind of movie that you can predict the ending of simply by reading a one line synopsis, which makes it a dull affair and nothing much more. Stephen Merchant gets in on the act with a role that will no doubt do great things for his career in the US, but apart from that, Hall Pass is pretty much a waste of time. 5 / 10.

Queen – Days of Our Lives (2011)

This two-part BBC2 documentary telling the story of one of the biggest (and arguably the best) British rock bands was a really enjoyable watch, charting the band from the early days to their hard earned success, right up to the untimely death of enigmatic frontman Freddie Mercury. Archive footage from rehearsals, recording studio time, live shows and interviews was cut up amongst words from many who knew the band the best, but the highlights were brand new insights into Queen by guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor (the latter of which showing that he enjoys a swearword as much as anybody). A theme running through the documentary, discussed in detail by Brian May, was that Queen managed to achieve unimaginable success while rarely being thought of as 'cool' by much of mainstream music, and more importantly, their peers. It's something that May even believes to this day, despite the fact that Queen are now a musical institution. It was a great 2 hours for any fan of the band or even just rock music in general, showing how life can be for a group of people who live for their art and long to make a difference. It gets heart-wrenching towards the end as Freddie Mercury's illness is recalled, his deterioration not stopping his want to continue making records with Queen and his sheer determination to make little fuss during his final days. It proves that Freddie was a hero for many people and will continue to be, long after his death, as new fans hear his voice for the first time on classic Queen albums. It doesn't fall into the bracket for it to qualify for MOVIE OF THE MONTH, but it's definitely the best thing I've seen in May. 9 / 10.